Best night in ... a long time....

My fall will be for you
My love will be in you
If you be the one to
Cut me I'll bleed forever
— Ghost Love Score

Nightwish is my favorite band in the world, and though they've toured the US before (they're originally from Finland), this is the first time they've played in Oklahoma. I rode down to the concert with three friends. We left late and hit huge traffic jams on the way, then got lost for about fifteen minutes, but made it there just in time for the opening band, Volbeat (which I think is also from Finland). I was still sore from wildly dancing and headbanging to Birthday Massacre two days before, so I didn't dance to Volbeat's music (though my feet really wanted to), but I DID buy a Monster energy drink in anticipation of what was to come. After Volbeat finished, I pushed through the crowd, trailing my three friends, until we met solid opposition and were standing about ten feet from the stage, pretty far to the left side but still with a good view. At 10:00 I guzzled the Monster (sharing a little with a friend who is already so ADHD that decaf coffee is as good as espresso ... in all seriousness). At 10:10 people were coming and going through the stage doors, and we saw glimpses of Marco, Empuu, and Tuomas. At 10:20 Jukka appeared onstage, soon followed by Marco, Empuu, Tuomas, and Anette in no particular order and with little ceremony other than Tuomas's signature Hans Zimmer opening theme and a vivid display of lights. They immediately dove into their opening song, 7 Days to the Wolves, followed without pause by Nemo. Though most of the songs in this concert came from their latest two albums (Once and Dark Passion Play), they did go back to their third latest release and sing Bless the Child. Dark Chest of Wonders came next, followed by Amaranth (to the extreme joy of one of my friends — it's her favorite of all their songs). They took a short break and set a couple stools on the stage, preparing for the wistful The Islander, lit by a cool spectrum of marine colors. Next they sang While You Lips are Still Red, which was a nice surprise — it's one of my absolute favorites, and since it was only released on an EP of demos for their latest album, I had not expected them to play it. Finally they went back to the harder stuff, belting out Romanticide with even more feeling than in the studio version, and finishing with the song everyone had been waiting for — the quarter-hour Poet and the Pendulum. As soon as they left the stage, the crowd began roaring, and a tall man with a huge voice standing front and center led them all to chant "ONE MORE! ONE MORE!" — and then "GHOST LOVE SCORE! GHOST LOVE SCORE!" My heart raced with anticipation; that's another of my absolute favorites. Nightwish returned for their encore ... and to everyone's excitement, they played Ghost Love Score. That was followed by Wish I Had An Angel, after which Tuomas's signature Hans Zimmer exit music played and they all took a bow or three before leaving for the last time.

During the entire show, I had been screaming my excitement at each song, screaming out the lyrics to the songs as well as I could, not caring whether I was on key, jumping six inches off the ground in my 5-pound combat boots, shaking a "rock fist" to the beat, headbanging, waving, whatever I felt like doing and was able to do without injuring any innocent bystanders. My friends were bystanders, but apparently not innocent; I jumped on the toes of the one behind me three times. Even with the help of the energy drink, by the time they got to The Poet and the Pendulum, I was exhausted — though with the encore I suddenly realized I had more energy than I thought. Pretty much the entire last half of the concert I did on nothing but adrenaline... but I had a lot of that. My favorite band in the world, all the way from Finland, standing directly, almost tangibly, in front of me ... Tuomas, one of the most amazing people on earth, playing his triple keyboard directly across from where I was standing, and making eye contact with me multiple times ... I didn't care that my legs screamed in protest every time I jumped, or that every time I threw the rock fist my arm wanted to go with it; I didn't care that every time I banged my head sweat flew everywhere ... this was literally a dream come true.

During the concert (apologies for the quality — cell phone camera in low light)









After it was over ... "exhausted" is too gentle of a word

The Tree

He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

— Psalm 1:3 (ESV)

Let me tell you a story.

There is a tree, much like the tree in this Psalm, which has been growing beside a nourishing stream for many years. It is tall and strong, an example many other trees look up to, and a home and fortress to many woodland creatures.

Every autumn, this tree sheds its leaves. In recent years, some of its branches have stretched far over the stream, and the leaves it sheds have been falling into the small channel, choking it. Not all of the leaves get washed away each year, and over time the waters in the stream trickled down to a halt. The stream no longer flows past the tree, having overflowed the banks and cut a new path in a different direction, and without the water and the minerals it carries, the tree has withered and has slowly begun to die. It is no longer growing, nor does it bear fruit or leaves. Yet even a dead tree remains for a long time, particularly a tree as hardy, as solidly rooted, and as sturdy as this tree. Most of the other trees in the forest don't realize the tree is dying, and continue to look up to it and be inspired by the example it sets. The woodland creatures still find shelter in its strong branches and in the shade of its powerful trunk.

Right now the tree is dormant, as most trees are in winter time — it's neither growing nor producing, but is still alive. However, if the stream is not soon allowed to clear itself of the debris, the tree will die and begin to weaken and rot. I know this tree personally, and have spoken with it many times on this exact subject. The tree is very thirsty, but is unwilling to stop shedding its leaves into the stream.

Please pray for my friend the tree.

Out of respect for the tree's privacy, I don't want to use its real name; if you know or think you know this person, please also respect their privacy and avoid using names in any comments you might leave.

Legend come to Life

This is the speech I gave for my Speech class assignment earlier this evening. Enjoy!

The concept of vampires — undead, virtually indestructible humans who survive by drinking blood — has been around for centuries, existing in some form in nearly every major culture of the world. Though descriptions and explanations vary with time and physical location, all share many similarities. The historical persistence and geographic scope of this legendary creature cannot be ignored. I have spent the last couple of weeks piecing together information from a variety of sources, online and offline, and am here tonight to inform you about the facts behind the legends of vampires and give you a glimpse at the unique characteristics of these intriguing creatures. I will start by explaining the vampire's essential characteristic — apparent indestructibility. From there I will move on to discuss their longevity, their aversion to silver, gold, and other heavy metals, and their nocturnal habits; I will close with a brief look at their most well-known characteristic — blood-drinking. Now open your minds and prepare to meet one of the strangest and most intriguing creatures to walk the face of the earth.

First, the most significant aspect of a vampire is its apparent indestructibility. There are few ways to actually kill a vampire because their bodies are equipped with amazing regenerative qualities. Because they lack a cell growth inhibitor gene that most humans are born with, vampires are imbued with a cellular regenerative speed many times that of a normal human; damage to any tissue, organ, or bone heals quickly — even a lacerated heart or damaged brain can be fully restored within hours. Furthermore, vampires are equipped with stem cell sites located throughout the body. Stem cells are unique in their ability to specialize as any type of cell — bone, muscle, liver, eye, and so forth. This ensures that even amputated limbs and damaged or missing organs can be easily restored — an ability scientists have been trying for years to duplicate, with limited success. Indeed, the single most effective way to kill a vampire is decapitation — when the brain can no longer signal the body to function or in turn receive nourishment from it, both die.

The second remarkable characteristic of vampires is their incredible longevity. Vampires do not die of natural causes. They recover quickly from wounds, physical stress, and fatigue that would kill a normal person, and a hyperactive immune system prevents them from falling prey to almost any disease. Vampires do not exhibit the physical characteristics of aging that most humans are subjected to; the constant rebuilding of their cellular structures prevents their bodies from weakening or decaying. Though most legends hold that vampires are dead humans raised back to life in an unnatural form, the simpler truth is that while vampires may appear to die and may appear to rise from the dead, they are merely very difficult to kill.

This brings me to my third topic, the effect of silver on vampires. Though their regenerative abilities protect them or at the very least help them to recover quickly from the effects of most physical harm, heavy metals such as silver, gold, mercury, and lead can cause serious damage to vampires — as to humans. The chemical structure of these and other heavy metals denatures and effectively destroys most proteins on contact, making them dangerous to humans and vampires alike. Silver is legendary for its resemblance to moonlight, so combining fact with superstition placed an undue emphasis on this as a substance deadly to vampires. However, any heavy metal will do the job. A wound infected with one of these substances will heal at a remarkably slower rate than a normal wound, as the metal continues to disrupt the protein structures until the body is able to remove the toxin. Obviously this confirms the well-known belief that a silver bullet through the heart will kill a vampire — the muscle cannot repair itself quickly enough to prevent cardiac arrest and death.

The fourth interesting aspect of vampires is their nocturnality. Their habit of hunting at night and sleeping, hidden from the sun, during the day is an element of nearly every vampire legend in existence. The reasons for this, however, are not as mysterious as many would like to believe, but are actually very simple. Because of the high cell turnover rate in all parts of the body, including the skin, vampires are highly susceptible to sunburn — the cells do not persist long enough to create the protective melanin that shields them from ultraviolet radiation. Thus the idea that vampires "burn up" in sunlight is, in a way, accurate. Furthermore, vampires have excellent night vision, far superior to all but the most exceptional humans. Sight is enabled when light strikes the retina and excites the rod and cone cells. When this happens, the cells change shape, breaking off a chemical group and sending an electrical impulse to the brain. After a few moments, a reverse chemical reaction causes the cell to change back to normal and the process can start over again. Vampires' extraordinarily high metabolism empowered by their rapid cell development accelerates these reactions, increasing to sometimes incomprehensible amounts the perception and quality of their vision even in near pitch darkness. Not only is the sun damaging to their skin, its light is painfully bright to their eyes.

The fifth and final characteristic of vampires I'd like to discuss is that for which they are most notorious — their repulsive habit of drinking blood. Most legends hold that because vampires are mere animated corpses and therefore have no circulation of their own, they must drink blood in order to survive. However, as I have already demonstrated, vampires are in fact very much alive — perhaps more alive in some ways than humans. Why, then, does their diet solely consist of blood? Unfortunately, this topic is one for which little data has been gathered. Perhaps the liquid form of blood provides their essential nutrients in a state better adapted for rapid absorption into the bloodstream than more solid forms like meat and vegetation. However, their increased metabolism requires a much higher caloric intake level than that of the average human, and blood simply cannot provide those calories. Might they gain their energy from a yet undiscovered source? While much can be learned or guessed about these incredible creatures, there is still a vast amount that we do not know.

In conclusion, tonight I have informed you about the facts underlying vampire mythology. I began by introducing the idea of accelerated cellular regeneration and explaining how that contributes to their apparent indestructibility. In light of this idea, I discussed their longevity, their aversion to silver and other heavy metals, and their nocturnal habits, and closed with a few thoughts on their well-known habit of drinking blood. I hope that you now have a better understanding of the truth behind the legends of the vampire. Every legend is grounded in reality, and few people are aware of how dangerously real vampires are.

Can people really be so idiotic?

I randomly found this on some random person's blog ... and could not believe my ears. Please tell me that the people who believe or agree with this narrator are an endangered species, rapidly being replaced by rational thinkers and observers.



Okay, number one, the goth culture is as a rule nonviolent and nondestructive — which leaves one wondering why he keeps calling it a "dangerous" and "destructive" lifestyle. Number two, it is a subculture built largely on aesthetics and generally expressed through music, dress, and art ... not some cult religion or psychological disorder that a person needs "counseling and prayer" to be "saved from". And, by the way, goth is not Satanic. There are Satanic goths, sure, as there are Christian and Buddhist and atheist and any number of other religious affiliates. Boldly wearing pentagrams or other symbols of Satanism may be a cause for concern, but it has nothing to do with gothdom.

In fact, of all the "symptoms" he lists, very few are actually essential to the goth culture. Many are associated with, but not inherent to, goth (e.g. wearing black eyeliner or fascination with body piercing), and a large number have nothing to do with goth at all. Some of these allegedly dangerous "symptoms" aren't even cause for concern (using the internet, watching television, associating with "unusual" people, etc.). The ignorance, arrogance, irrationality, bigotry, and utter stupidity of this "warning" is beyond my comprehension.

Good and perfect

Would you do it with me,
Heal the scars and change the stars?
Would you do it for me,
Turn loose the heaven within?

— Nightwish, Ever Dream

I know I'm really slow to update (life's finally gotten busy), but as of last Thursday night, Caroline and I are no longer "together". After a long period of thinking, praying, and discussing, we decided that we are not ready yet to commit to a serious relationship. So we "broke up". The bright side is that we're still good friends and I don't believe feelings were hurt on either side by this mutual decision.

Despite the pain of the breakup (which surprised me by lessening much faster than I'd expected), I am incredibly thankful for the three months we had together. I don't regret a minute of the time we spent with each other, and God used it to bless me and teach me in countless ways, probably more than I even realize at this point.

We wrestled for a while with the question of whether to end the relationship, and as we were drawing close to making a decision (and I was fairly certain it was going to end this way), I was comforted by James 1:17 — Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. The encouragement in that verse is twofold. First, the wonder and beauty I experienced in the relationship while it lasted was not some stolen forbidden pleasure — it was a gift from God. Even though it was not to last, there is no reason to regret the brief gift that God so freely shared with me. Second, God knew even before we began the relationship that it was not going to last. God does not change. Yet I am unshakably certain that it was not only His will but His delight for us to enter that relationship — we were confident of that going in, and I've never doubted it since. He knew it was not going to last, yet He wanted us to have it anyway, despite the pain its end would bring. Why? Who can fathom the mind of God? I will never know all that He accomplished through it, but I do know that it has helped me in many areas of my own life — showed me areas in which I need to grow, opened my eyes to "things I never knew I never knew" ... and, certainly, blessed me with just a taste — an appetizer — of the incredible glory and joy our Heavenly Father desires for His children.

I am bewildered with awe at the love and encouragement I've been shown by my brothers and sisters in Christ. To all of you who are praying for us or for me, words cannot express my gratitude. I honestly believe that the surprising lack of difficulty I'm having in dealing with this is due in a huge amount to your prayers. May God richly bless you all.

Lycanthropardus

They say there's nothing new under the sun.

They're wrong.

I just created a new word which, until this blog post, did not exist on any web page in the world (according to Google, Yahoo!, AltaVista, or even Ask Jeeves).

The word is lycanthropardus and means a werewolf (lycanthrope) who is also a panther (the scientific name for a leopard is Pantherus pardus).

Try it.

::edit::

Okay, yeah ... this post is a taste of the less-normal side of me....

"It's Complicated" ...

...but I wouldn't trade it for the world.